Not That Kind [19 Hispis 4385]
Dear Sythyry: Not that kind of assassin. A character assassin.
This is a very serious situation for us. We do not appreciate ridicule. I
daresay that you have never particularly feared character assassins. As you
are well-known to be transaffectionate, foreign, and monster-friendly, there
is hardly much more than can be said. In the case of my daughter, all threats
remain possible! I demand your immediate assistance and cooperation in this!
My daughter must return home to me, her tail tucked in shame between her legs!
Fortunately the actual shameful stories and bitter innuendo shall remain on
Srineia, and nobody of importance shall ever hear of it! Your assistance in
this matter is crucial! You must supply money and necessities to Far-Eyes!
But in restricted quantities! She is forbidden to enjoy Srineia! But she
must be provided with the fare for return passage to Oorah Thrassen! Alone!
– Nangbang.
I haven’t been so thoroughly insulted by someone who needs my help in at least
a week and a half. Unless I’m forgetting something.
The Conversation
Me:“What, precisely, did you tell your parents when you
left?”
Lost-Eyes:“I don’t remember exactly.”
Me:“Well, approximately?”
Lost-Eyes:“Something to the effect that I’d married an elderly
Orren knight-adventurer from Aradrueia and gone to live there. I could’t
quite bring myself to mention Dorze.”
Jyondre:“But they knew about Dorze. They were scandalized, you
said.”
Lost-Eyes:[Looking a bit evasive.]“For a while.”
We applied a variety of interrogation techniques. The unfeigned admiration of
Lithia did the trick.
Lost-Eyes:“I distracted them with other scandals. I gave cley to
one of the sorcerers at the temple, for one, and hinted that I was going
to do it professionally. I told them I was going trying to move to a
riverbum village in Mrasteia. That sort of thing.”
Kantele:“Not bad strategy, that. There aren’t all that many
things worse in the eyes of society than being traff…”
Lost-Eyes looked a bit shocked at the word. ” … than being
transaffectionate, if you prefer. Cley-selling will do it, though.”
Lithia:“You’re so clever. I wish I could be like
you.” She petted Lost-Eyes’s tail. Lost-Eyes did not seem much put
out by this.
Me:“Your parents want you to return to Oorah Thrassen, in
shame.”
Lithia:“Feathermom! You wouldn’t make her, would you?”
Me:“Lost-Eyes and her parents are less important to me than my
crew and my vacation.” Everyone else looked a bit uncertain what I
meant. This is entirely appropriate. I didn’t know what I meant either,
or what I wanted to do with the stowaways. Fortunately, being cryptic is
one of my supreme species abilities, and nobody asked me to explain.
Lost-Eyes:“I’m not going to go anywhere without Dorze.”
Lithia:“You’re not going anywhere!”
Kantele:“Except Srineia, for starters.”
Me:“What we do from there depends on how you behave, I
suppose.”
Everyone else looked confused at that. But I knew exactly what I meant. If
Lithia’s love is requited, I’m not going to toss her sweetie off the ship or
send her back to Ketheria. Lithia’s time is so short, and the general distaste
for her species so great, I cannot really deny her what little joy she manages
to scrape together. If not, I don’t much feel responsible for the stowaways,
except to treat them decently and/or in accordance with law and custom.
I am avoiding the decision. I am glad to have a convenient way to avoid the
decision.
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Thoughts
Well, the main issues here are things that aren’t really your responsibility, but just other people dumping their problems on you. Focusing on something that is a responsibility you’ve chosen, such as Lithia’s well-being, is a good way to avoid distraction.
Though, even if Lithia’s love is not requited, she might appreciate kind treatment of the object of her unrequited affections over unkind. I guess it depends on how she reacts, too.
It’s good that you’ve learned to take advantage of being difficult to fathom. Nice trick! >:)
Associate with her while I spread horrible rumors about her!
At least Nangbang seems to think that what happens in Srineia stays in Srineia…
I think it’s not that you don’t fear character assassins, so much as that, historically, you are your own.
I beg your pardon?
Just sayin’.
Well, Srineia is foreign, and who cares what goes on there?
Sythyry’s not assassinating zir own character! Zie’s protecting zirself from blackmail by ensuring that everyone already knows all about zir foibles. >:)
Vae has transformed Sythyry’s character into some sort of elaborate mobile constructed from locador threads and brazinion needles. An assassin wouldn’t know where to strike, and would be afraid to even try!