Comments on: Opinions: Phaniet [17 Thory 4385; Eigrach, Srineia]

By: terrycloth

terrycloth — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:54:44 +0000

No harm has happened yet. Harm can only happen if Rehit finds out. Going behind his back is immoral because it introduces the possiblity that he’ll find out and be hurt by it, but turning around and being honest *now* merely ensures that things get as bad as possible.

The obviously correct thing to do if you want to be moral (and not if you have other priorities, like continuing to be with the one you love) is to immediately stop the affair and never speak of it again.

By: gavinfoxx

gavinfoxx — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:24:35 +0000

You’re not helping! You need to help Sythyry do the right thing! Which means being honest and open, and explaining things to those that you have harmed, and asking for forgiveness!

By: Stormy Dragon

Stormy Dragon — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:05:25 +0000

You are an honest person, which is why this is causing such a problem for you: going against one’s nature is always uncomfortable.

By: Stormy Dragon

Stormy Dragon — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:03:39 +0000

[stomps off to talk to Kantele.]

I’m reminded of the small child who, having failed to get permission from one parent, attempts to get it from the other parent. And as is always the case in such sitations, Kantele is going to give you the same answer as Phaniet.

By: sythyry

sythyry — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:03:50 +0000

I don’t think that Rehit is a very good judge of character. He seems to have judged me as an honest person, for one thing.

[Bard doesn't necessarily agree with any Sythyry characters. -bb]

By: terrycloth

terrycloth — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:56:39 +0000

Right! If you came clean to Rehit, he’d attempt to kill you, and then after you killed him in self defense the biggest barrier would be removed.

Then you’d get Eighrach to find you blameless because they want your services, and have them force Thenel to be your lover as an additional punishment, satisfying his desire to be blackmailed.

By: Peregrine

Peregrine — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:50:24 +0000

I agree with Rowyn.

Also here: “Anyhow. Any relationship which you can’t mention to your partner’s best friend is a bad relationship. Any relationship which could easily destroy your partner’s social circumstances is a bad relationship. And really, really, any relationship which requires you to be a whore is a bad relationship.”

I disagree with Phaniet’s opinion for one and two. Maybe the partner’s best friend is not a terrific judge of relationships. Maybe the partner’s social circumstances are somewhat artificial/superficial – in need of protecting, but not part of Who the Partner Is in a meaningful way.

I do think that honesty is the best policy with the relationshipees and all partners.

I’m…not sure about #3. I think if it’s not fun, it’s definitely a bad thing.

By: Gavinfoxx

Gavinfoxx — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:47:18 +0000

Yes, I think that coming clean to his fiancee might be a good idea… if you can figure out a way to do it… begging for forgiveness might help…

By: Rowyn

Rowyn — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:50:45 +0000

Perhaps you should look at this question in a different light. That you and Thenel are having a bad relationship is reasonably clear. What would it take for you and Thenel to have good relationship? Are any of those options worth pursuing?